Anyone that is in a relationship is in the same boat as we are. There never seems to be enough hours in the day! Whatever we do, whatever we plan, nothing ever seems to be enough sometimes. These days, my husband and I have decided to put an end to missing our together time and making a concerted effort to see one another as often as we can, just the two of us. We have learned to appreciate the precious time we have alone and have re-dedicated ourselves to getting in a few hours every week where we can just be alone with one another and our thoughts.
We have decided to make a few date nights each month where we spend a few hours together, without the baby and without discussing anything related to work. If we have to consolidate things around the house, we have actually done it. Once, we spent about a half hour of our date night searching for kitchen faucets for our renovation. It may sound boring, but we made the best of it. The most important thing was that we were together.
Can you even remember the last time you were alone with your partner spending some quality time? Even researchers understand that date nights are crucial to staying in a committed and rewarding relationship. We used to think a date night meant going out and seeing a movie or dinner, but we have since learned to stay at home and Netflix and have a few glasses of wine together if that is all we can manage. For those that think they don’t have the energy or the time to schedule a date night, you should think again! If we have to hire a babysitter for a bit of time alone, it is definitely worth it. If only for the sanctity of our minds and marriage.
What is the minimum amount of time you should set aside for date nights, you might ask? I would say at least once a week, but one time every two weeks can work as well, if you make that time special enough. And again, I stress that is doesn’t have to be a major event. That means there is no need to go to a fancy restaurant or wear a suit and tie and cocktail dress. The most important part is being able to see one another one on one and share your week – and everything that happened in the interim that you may have missed – with one another. I have come to look forward to the time I get to spend with my partner and I know he has too.
Sure, we all lead busier lives than the previous generation and we all know how precious time is. But nurturing your relationship is also difficult and takes time but ultimately, it is worth it. And at the end of the day, having a relationship takes more than a bit of work. It’s just like anything else you really want to have. No one wants to feel taken for granted and no one wants to feel ignored.